Random bullshit.

A couple recent things when I had no internet connection at home. It was just me and my .txts.


10.22.08

To think is to be cursed...
And to think I could've had it worse,
I'm sure that could be,
but all I am is me (a damaged mind dispersed).

Bloody spaghetti.
Thick and thin pink fibers.
Peach outer tone.
Follicles that touch the aether ... or the other way around.

A heart; A timer.
I want to slit my neck,
Not feel a thing (so fast and correct).
A kosher way to go!

Everything is in order,
Including the chaos.
I missed a beat somehow,
Despite my musical inclination.

I don't want to be judged,
Even though I own a gavel.
I want to cut and smudge myself,
From wrists down to the gravel.

Please let me go?
Let me float away during sleep?
My music will play forever
While I gladly make not a peep.

An ambient absence,
Will be perpetually known,
By who or what was once me
and the Universe's throne.

Parts of this rhyme
and parts of this don't.
It makes no difference.
Nothing
ever
will.

(Forever ageless in mind. Illness preserves misery.)



10.23.08

No matter what happens to me or in my life, one thing will always
remain the same and provide me with comfort. That thing is Music. It
doesn't matter if something exists after this life or not. It doesn't
matter if I've been beaten, raped, made fun of or abandoned. It
doesn't matter if I am poor or can afford something a little extra.
It doesn't matter if I am sick in the head, in the body, or perfectly
sane. All that matters, is Music. If I could be buried with every
note, I would.

I need to do something with my voice before it's too late. I'm
denying probably what the main purpose for me being alive is. I can't
read music but it can read me. It turns my pages. A never ending
novel. Music IS "soul".