Okay.

So lately every little thing has been getting to me. All of the drama that ensued during the last moments of my transition from my last place of residence to the new one due to my filthy ex-roommate, the normal severe depression that kicks on sporadically and is ruthless, the general stress of unpacking, setting things up, lack of money and also figuring out what to go back to college for. I feel so much yet I feel simultaneously detached. It's taking a toll on my relationship and this is not okay. Especially so because we just made this big step together. However, after realizing that he has been feeling this way too, then texting me with something that made me feel again an hour or so later and talking to Jill, I think things may be okay in the long run. Simply put, I need therapy. Badly. J needs to come with. He has agreed in the past but I've never made the steps to get us there and really, it is up to me because honestly, my problems are worse and I'm the source of things fucking up at least 70% of the time. I hate percentages. Hah.

I just want to be "normal". Not happy per se. Just normal. Feeling sad would be blissful because sadness is so many levels higher than what I feel most of the time.

Blah blah blah.